笑傲江湖陈乔恩The effort very nearly killed her.'Disco again sent his right fist into the palm of his left hand, with something like the sound of a pistol-shot to the no small surprise and alarm of the Portuguese, and, rising, went out to cool his heated brow in the open air.‘Had you any forewarning of your release from the monastery?’ he asked of a sudden.shake her off, but she just clamped on tight and yanked me along, saying, ?°C'mon!?± My mom came out of the house and immediately got the world's sappiestlook on her face. ?°Well, hello,?± she says to Juli. ?°Hi!?± ----------------------- Page 4-----------------------I'm still trying to pull free, but the girl's got me in a death grip. My mom's grinning, looking at our hands and my fiery red face. ?°And what's your name, honey??± ?°Julianna Baker. I live right over there,?± she says, pointing with her unoccupied hand. ?°Well, I see you've met my son,?± she says, still grinningaway. ?°Uh-huh!?± Finally I break free and do the only manly thing available when you're seven years old ?a I dive behind my mother. Mom puts her arm around me and says, ?°Bryce, honey, why don't you show Julianna around the house??± I flash her help and warning signals with every part of my body, but she's not receiving. Then she shakes me off and says, ?°Go on.?± Juli would've tramped right in if my mother hadn't noticed her shoes and told her to take them off. And after those were off, my mom told her that her dirty socks had to go, too. Juli wasn't embarrassed. Not a bit. She just peeled them off and left them in a crusty heap on our porch. I didn't exactly give her a tour. I locked myself in the bathroom instead. And after about ten minutes of yelling back at her that no, I wasn't coming out anytime soon, things got quiet out in the hall. Another ten minutes went by before I got the nerve to peek out the door. No Juli. I snuck out and looked around, and yes! She was gone. Not a very sophisticated ditch, but hey, I was only seven. My troubles were far from over, though. Every day she came back, over and over again. ?°Can Bryce play??± I could hear her asking from my hiding place behind the couch. ?°Is he ready yet??± One time she even cut across the yard and looked through my window. I spotted her in the nickof time and dove under my bed, but man, that right there tells you something about Juli Baker. She's got no concept of personal space. No respect for privacy. The world is her playground, and watch out below ?a Juli's on the slide! Lucky for me, my dad was willing to run block. And he did it over and over again. He told her I was busy or sleeping or just plain gone. He was a lifesaver. My sister, on the other hand, tried to sabotage me any chance she got. Lynetta's like that. She's four years older than me, and buddy, I've learned from watching her how not to run your life. She's got ANTAGONIZE writtenall over her. Just look at her ?a not cross-eyed or with your tongue sticking out or anything ?a just look at her and you've started an argument. I used to knock-down-drag-out with her, but it's just not worth it. Girls don't fight fair. They pull your hair and gouge you and pinch you; then they run off gaspingto mommy when you try and defend yourself with a fist. Then you get locked into time-out, and for what? No, my friend, the secret is, don't snap at the bait. Let it dangle. Swim around it. Laugh it off. After a while they'll give up and try to lure someone else. At least that's the way it is with Lynetta. And the bonus of having her as a pain-in-the-rear sister was figuring out that this method works on everyone. Teachers, jerks at school, even Mom and Dad. Seriously. There's no winning arguments with your parents, so why get all pumpedup over them? It is way better to dive down and get out of the way than it is toget clobbered by some parental tidal wave. The funny thing is, Lynetta's still clueless when it comes to dealing with Mom and Dad. She goes straight into thrash mode and is too busy drowning in the argument to take a deep breath and dive for calmer water. And she thinks I'm stupid. ----------------------- Page 5-----------------------Anyway, true to form, Lynetta tried to bait me with Juli those first few days. She even snuck her past Dad once and marched her all around the house, hunting me down. I wedged myself up on the top shelf of my closet, and lucky for me, neither of them looked up. A few minutes later I heard Dad yell at Juli to get off the antique furniture, and once again, she got booted. I don't think I went outside that whole first week. I helped unpack stuff and watched TV and just kind of hung around while my mom and dad arranged and rearranged the furniture, debating whether Empire settees and French Rococo tables should even be put in the same room. So believe me, I was dying to go outside. But every time I checked through the window, I could see Juli showing off in her yard. She'd be heading a soccer ball or doing high kicks with it or dribbling it up and down their driveway. And when she wasn't busy showing off, she'd just sit on the curb笑傲江湖陈乔恩
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